To share or not to share? That is the conundrum

Most of you reading this are likely to have found my blog via social media, so, you no doubt have your own personal thoughts and boundaries around what you do and what you won’t share on these platforms (and I'm talking more about personal rather than a business page, they operate a little differently). Or, maybe you don’t give two hoots and just let it roll authentically. Or, or, you don’t share at all. Kudos to you my friend!

Every so often I get this icky feeling in my guts, where I want to throw in the towel, delete all my accounts and hide away from the social media sphere. Simplifying life and avoiding those ‘shit, where did the last half hour go?’ moments sounds really appealing. You know know those moments right?

For the majority of the time though, social media can be a wonderful space. I have made many beautiful connections with new online friends, and re-kindled some old pre-social media friendships. I have found a space to be creative, express my views about things that I am passionate about, and I am also regularly inspired. There sure are some amazingly talented souls out there who shine their light on us all, and that is a lovely thing. If not for social media, I’d not know of them or their gifts.

Now back to that icky feeling. There are two things that come to my mind when those uneasy feelings strike, the first, am I oversharing? and secondly, comparison. Now I don’t think I’m an over-sharer by any means, however there are times I have to check in with myself. I sometimes (not always!) ask myself, how does sharing xyz make me feel​? Okay or uncomfortable? More often though I let my gut guide the way. Now I’m all for stepping outside of ones comfort zone and doing the hard, uncomfortable things, but in the right context. When I know it will serve a greater good or perhaps nurture personal growth, I'm all over it like a rash. Oversharing on the internet doesn’t quite fit the bill for me in this circumstance. It’s the real life stuff that counts. I see social media sharing more as a way to connect over common interests and to celebrate the hard work going on behind the filters. When I find myself 'connecting' too much in the digital realm and not enough in #realtime and/or seeking gratification from it too, I know I need to pull back.

Comparison. Yeah, yeah, we all know that comparison is the thief of joy, thank you Theodore Roosenvelt, but let’s be honest, we ALL do it. It’s human nature to compare, how we manifest that comparison is where the danger lies. Do we use it as a measuring stick for how great or not so great our own lives are? Or do we remind ourselves that social media is a highlight reel & that we are, in this moment doing the very best we can and kicking our own goals, big or small? Yaaasss, I made the bed before I left the house today AND I packed lunch #winningatlife. It's such an easy trap to find yourself in, but I guess if you're not patting yourself on the back and doing the inner work, no amount of 'likes' or comments are going to fill that void.

When this unease creeps up on me, the best remedy...take a break mate! Social media is NOT REAL LIFE, and nothing reminds me of that more than getting out there and living in it!! A good ‘social media free’ break or ‘unplug’ usually resets the buttons and puts what’s important back into perspective, ready for the next round.

“In the fancy spectacle of life, aspire to find a joy that does not need an audience.” ― Joyce Rachelle

When it comes to sharing, there are definitely topics I share very little to nothing of. You won’t find me sharing about the following any time soon:

Relationship woes. I love my husband, our relationship is great, we are not perfect. That’s pretty much all you need to know

Nitty gritty personal problems. Take the papercut I currently have on my palm for example. Painful yes. Inconvenient, yes. Do you need to know about it, probably not. I like to keep things light, hell there’s enough misery in the world without me adding my first world problems into the mix.

Too many selfies. Ffs it takes 352 goes to get ONE good shot and that’s just bloody hard work. Selfies are sporadic and few. I do them because my future, old lady self will thank me for it one day (and my husband takes a terrible photo, just saying).

Cryptic captions. Just no.

Kids with gifts. My (big) kids Easter egg haul and Christmas presents #neverhaveneverwill. Sorry, this may be harsh to some, but does any one really care?

Perfection (or whatever that means?). Couldn’t even if I tried, there’s no such thing.

My booty gains. Jokes, never say never.

One of the rare ones

Look, if you do share the stuff I choose not too, more power to you, there is no judgement here! These are just things I personally have little to zero interest in sharing, but by all means in your space #sharewhateverthefuckyouwant. And what I see as over sharing or out-of-bounds, you may deem open slather, and that’s totally cool too. Social media would be boring as bat shit if we all had the same view of the world. As long as we as individuals feel comfortable with our choices and don’t ignore those icky feelings when they surface, social media can be a very nice way to funnily enough, be social! Sharing for the sake of sharing or for ‘likes’ and comments is more than likely not in our best interests.

What you WILL find me sharing, is authentic, from the heart, honest content. Yes I like aesthetically pleasing filters but stories are for the raw behind-the-scenes stuff right? I write the way I hear it in my head, and I like to inject a bit of fun into it all. Adulting can be dull af at the best of times so if there’s a way to find humour in boring situations, I’m all over it.

Can't stop, won't stop the Aunty Spam

I'm not claiming to have the balance between sharing meaningful content and fluff all worked out, or that I always deal with comparison in the best way. I am only human after all. Maybe I don't share enough out of fear? Maybe I should throw caution to the wind and give less f##ks? Who knows?

So, how comfortable are you sharing your life on the socials? Do you share at all? Have you set boundaries? Is nothing off limits? Do you take breaks? Or maybe, you LOVE oversharing and that is where you find the gold?!! So many questions, but I am really curious to hear how you feel about this topic. Drop me an email and let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

Peace out homies.

xx Kara

I forgot all about including this next bit in my last blog post so here it is once again.

Reading: Her, A Memoir by Christa Parravani (anothe library book read)

Watching: The Redeemed and the Dominant: Fittest on Earth. Loved seeing how strong the women were in this Netflix doco.

Listening to: The Lighthouse Podcast. Sad & fascinating

Crushing on: Dolly Parton